"The secret to stopping the dance is to recognize that no one has to be the bad guy. The accuse/accuse pattern itself is the villain here"

Healthy self-love is not about always putting your own needs first, but about accepting who you are, including your imperfections

Couples who make the effort to respond to these subtle requests for attention, are more likely to enjoy ongoing intimacy and connection.

We can rewire our brains by stepping back to notice what we are doing, and choosing to create new neural pathways by learning new behavior

When we choose to respond to our loved ones consciously, we avoid much of the habitual suffering that is brought on by automatic responses.